Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am going to ask you to ponder how you would answer the question, “Who are you?” while I tell you a little bit about who I am.
In 1979 my mom was expecting her forth child who she hoped to call “Celeste.” My dad favored, “Amy.” It wasn’t until mom did some research on the two names that she relented. She found that Amy was a Latin name that meant Beloved. She knew that my dad’s name, David, also meant Beloved. And so I was named Amy, after my dad.
My dad changed jobs a lot when I was young because of the nature of auto-mechanics. He often had to work two jobs or my mom had to take on odd jobs to take care of their six kids. There came a point, though, where my parents were sure their prayers for a good job had been answered and my dad started a business selling large equipment to auto-shops throughout Utah. He had to travel a lot and he slept in his little car, but things went well for a while. Within the course of a single year, though, my dad was in the hospital four times. He shattered his wrist installing a hoist and had to have pins put into his arm and later taken out. That same year he had emergency gall bladder surgery and an appendectomy. It was during those months that his largest client declared bankruptcy and he knew he would loose his business because of the money this client owed him. Still, my dad refused to declare bankruptcy himself, insisting that if it took his whole life he would pay off his debts. Somewhere during that year my dad taught me an important lesson. Our car had broken down and we went to a parts store to buy what he needed to fix it. As my dad and I walked out of the store, he examined his receipt closely and declared we had to return. I grudgingly followed him, not finding auto parts to be all that interesting. At the counter he handed the salesman his receipt and said, “This is for my personal car, I need to pay the taxes.”
I never said anything to my dad about that experience, but I have thought about it often since. How many people would have just walked away? How many would have reasoned that they certainly pay enough taxes or that it was a small amount and not a big deal? He certainly wasn’t likely to be called to account for it. Even as a young girl this experience made me profoundly grateful to be named after my dad, a man of amazing integrity. My parents struggled a lot when I was young, but I was never very aware of it. I think that’s the ultimate example of gratitude. My mom and dad were so engaged in service and love that they didn’t have time to complain.
President Benson explained that, “Today we are aware of great problems in our society. The most obvious are sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, drug abuse, alcoholism, vandalism, pornography, and violence. These grave problems are symptoms of failure in the home—the disregarding of principles and practices established by God in the very beginning.” I confess that I didn’t know much of these problems growing up and the credit for that belongs to my parents and the example they set. When we think about who we are, we ought to be profoundly grateful for parents who taught us the gospel and, if they did not, they certainly deserve credit for in some way instilling in us the values that brought us here today. Parents, teachers, church leaders, and friends all deserve gratitude when we consider who we are.
My middle name is Jensen. I have always been glad my parents didn’t give me a real middle name because I didn’t want to give up my family name when I married. To me it represents all my ancestors. Naturally, I cannot carry with me the names of all the ancestors who influenced who I am, but I want to tell you about one of them. Baint Johnson was a farmer in Sweden when the missionaries came to his home. He accepted the gospel and his family was baptized. It turns out that the Swedes weren’t much more accepting of the church then the people of Illinois at that time, because his neighbors organized a mob and came to his house where he was alone with his seven-year-old son. He pushed his boy under the bed and instructed him to stay there until it was safe. The mob forced their way in and beat Baint so severely that his son would later tell people he was baptized in his father’s blood. As soon as Baint was well enough to travel he and his family took what they could carry and walked to Stockholm. There were other saints there and he thought to settle but word came from the mission presidency that he was to move again to Denmark. He moved his family again and prepared to start a life in Denmark, but was told he was supposed to take his family to America. He packed again.
On an over-crowded, rickety old boat he headed for the east coast, but was soon put way off course by a huge storm. Instead of landing where they expected, the little boat went around Florida and forced all the passengers off in New Orleans. He worked there for a time to earn money to take his family to St. Louis and from there, to Nauvoo. Once again he was told he could not stay and he began the long journey across the plains to Salt Lake City. Brigham Young then sent him to Provo where he again began to farm. This trip took over seven years. It was the beginning of the gospel in that line of my family. When we ask who we are we need to remember those that sacrificed to bring us the true gospel of Christ. Remember your ancestors, and be grateful for them. If you are a first generation member, be grateful for missionaries and friends who helped you get to where you are. Be grateful for loving mothers that sent their children to answer the call of a living prophet. To the youth and primary children, take advantage of living grandparents. I remembered that story from speaking with my grandpa when I was very young. When I called him to ask him to refresh the details for me, I discovered my own mom didn’t know it.
Sometime before the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ a young boy was orphaned and went to live with his uncle, Thomas Hancock. The boy later grew to become the first signer of the Declaration of independence. While none of John Hancock’s children lived to maturity, his cousins passed the Hancock name down a few generations to prominent members of the church who lived in Nauvoo who carried it across the plains and eventually passed it down to Nathan Hancock who, six years ago, asked me to share it. While Governor of Massachusetts, John Hancock declared a state holiday which he called, “A day of public Thanksgiving.” I want to share with you a bit of the article Gov. Hancock wrote as his declaration. He asked that on this holiday the people should,
devoutly and sincerely offer to Almighty GOD, the gratitude of our Hearts, for all his goodness towards us; more especially in that He has been pleased to continue to us so a great a measure of Health—to cause the Earth plentifully to yield her increase, so that we are supplied with the Necessaries, and the Comforts of Life—to prosper our Merchandise and Fishery—And above all, not only to continue to us the enjoyment of our civil Rights and Liberties; but the great and most important Blessing, the Gospel of Jesus Christ”
This, like the other’s I have discussed, is a legacy we all share. Not only was our country founded by men who were blessed with a profound understanding and gratitude for Jesus Christ, it was created by the Hand of God to be the place he would restore his gospel. Elder L. Tom Perry explained, “Among other things, the Constitution guarantees the religious freedom that allowed the Reformation to continue and flourish. The great religious reformers began to throw off the rituals and dogmas that had been attached to Christianity during the dark ages and sought to return to the pure and simple truths of the New Testament. “
Joseph Smith said, “The Constitution of the United States is a glorious standard; it is founded in the wisdom of God. It is a heavenly banner.”
Brigham Young said, “[The Constitution] was dictated by the invisible operations of the Almighty.”
Spencer W. Kimball added, “One of the reasons America is great today is because those men who formulated the Constitution had vision. They looked ahead to today, and all of us here are recipients of their wisdom and foresight.”
How grateful we must all be to be partakers of the blessings lavished upon those Heavenly Father brought to this promised land. I am grateful for freedom and for those that made the United States a part of who I am and those who continue to fight for it today.
My final name is one that I chose to take upon myself, but also one that came to me as the result of the divinity of all Children of God. At the age of 8, I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and on that day I covenanted to take upon me the name of my Savior. When we are considering the inconceivable blessing of being chosen to bear the name of Jesus Christ, we ought to be humbled by so great a trust and responsibility. And, in turn, we need to ask ourselves how we can live up to that name, the same way we should always be striving to live worthy of the other sacrifices people have made so we could be all that we were born to be. I think even as adults we sometimes tend to become casual in our behavior, our language and actions may be more to receive a desired reaction from the people around us then a reflection of what we believe. But even when we are less then diligent in reflecting our Savior, we still bear his name. When we stand before him someday, may we be proud of the way we represented him.
President Hinckley further explained this principle when he said, “As His followers, we cannot do a mean or shoddy or ungracious thing without tarnishing His image. Nor can we do a good and gracious and generous act without burnishing more brightly the symbol of Him whose name we have taken upon ourselves. And so our lives must become a meaningful expression, the symbol of our declaration of our testimony of the Living Christ, the Eternal Son of the Living God.”
While we are counting our blessings this year, may we also list those things that make us who we are. Ignoring all that I’ve said today, I could stop after listing Nathan’s wife and already be in great debt to my Heavenly Father. Adding the mother of Ryan and Sean kind of makes me the proverbial poster child for the unprofitable servant. But then I am also a daughter, Member of Christ’s Church and, of course of the Gurnee first ward, an American, a Child of God and the list could continue forever. I became who I am not because of anything special about me, but because of the amazing sacrifices of thousands of people who prepared the way, most long before I was born. And I will be forever grateful for that. And I pray the Lord will help me live up to it.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Unconditional Love



Essays on Love: Volume I
OR
I Love you Because…
OR
Unconditional Love: For Jesus, Babies  & Fools


“The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.”
Stephen Kendrick

Really? So there is absolutely no one among God’s children WORTHY of love? Blech. Let’s try again…

“They say you have to earn the right to be loved; no, love is unconditional, if you love someone, they don't have to earn it.”

Hmmmmmm.  Now we are not capable of loving anyone worthy of love, but only those without redeeming value? Or perhaps love for whom a person chooses to be isn’t real love? That can’t be right. Shall we give it one more chance?

“Self-righteousness is much like a spiritual egocentricity. It constitutes a secular type of love that thrives under conditionality, one in which is only existent after an individual meets the adopted standards of the condemner; oppositely, unconditional love is a holy love.”
Criss Jami, Salomé

Oh this one is my favorite! Loving someone because they have earned your love is evil. Unconditional love is pure. I see.  

Don’t get me wrong here. I absolutely believe in unconditional love. I believe it exists and it is necessary. I believe it is a beautiful thing. When you can look at another human being, covered in the filth of their own mistakes, reeking of cruelty and contempt, swimming in the bottomless pool of self-pity and think, “This is a child of God and I love him,” that’s truly amazing. If you can serve that individual and try to lift him above his circumstances, you have touched the charity born of Christ’s immoral sacrifice. That is something remarkable, beautiful and unquestionably laudable. 

If you can look at the mess the current regime has made of this country and still see the perpetrators as people you can love with a heart full of charity, you probably ought to be translated. 

Remember that Christ himself said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” and then defined neighbor as everyone. But consider what that means, exactly. We should love ourselves regardless of our faults. We should love ourselves because of that deep and abiding connection with deity, that whispering in our very souls that tells us of our individual divine worth. And I suppose that is also the way we should love our neighbor. 

But I’m tired of the constant barrage of messages about how my love for my husband ought to be the pure, selfless, unconditional love I’ve been describing. THAT is how I try to love those around me. THAT is how I love my children. THAT is how I love my brothers and sisters. 

It is not how I love Nathan.

Nate is not perfect and, yes, I overlook his faults. But that overlooking is a sort of cost/benefit analysis, not “loving despite.” The faults are so much less than the benefits as to make them negligible. 

My wonderful Nathan, I love you for your intelligence and wit, your sense of humor, and your snarky political comments. I love you for the way you let the kitties sit on your shoulder and call the dogs “pupper pups.” I love you because you play games with our children and melt when you see the baby. I love you because you research various topics that have no potential for making you money. I love that learning is fun for you. I love you because you get frustrated with your job, but keep going anyway. I love your work ethic and sense of integrity. I love that you tip well and donate money to causes we believe in. I love your perspectives on current events, your random knowledge of history and the fact that you like to buy lunch for your coworkers. These are not the same reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. Those reasons have been expanded, added to and replaced. My love is not unselfish. You make me happy. I love that you love me. And I certainly hope that you don’t love me unconditionally. I hope your love is selfish and only there because I make you truly happy. I hope that I am worthy of your love. 

Pure love might be unconditional.
True love is earned.