Graduation Wish

 Dear Ryan,

Do you remember junior high orientation? I drove you over to the school, but parents weren’t supposed to come in. I asked if you were scared. You said, “no.” I told you, “I am,” and you replied, “I know, Mom.” It’s a story we’ve repeated dozens of times, but there always seemed to be more ahead. I always knew I needed to let you do things on your own, but you have no idea what I’ve gone through waiting for you at home each time. From your first day of preschool, to sending you to interviews and doctor appointments for your mission, it’s been so hard. Do you want to know why? It’s never been because I worried about what you could do. It’s been because I worried whether the rest of the world would see what I see when I look at you. I wanted so much for them to recognize who you are and treat you the way you deserve.

I know I’ve been hard on you. There are plenty of times I was a horrible mother. It comes down to the same problem, but a different audience. I wanted you to see what I see when I look at you. You are destined to be great. I have to be careful with those words. The world has perverted their meaning. Celestial greatness is not measured by the quantity of effect one has on the world. It’s measured by one's ability to do good things with the resources he has been given. God has given you so much. He expects you to be a powerful force for good in this world and he sees you even more clearly than I do. But I see plenty. 

I’m so proud of you. I always have been, but now it’s just overwhelming. 

I want to give you great advice; another lecture about what Heavenly Father expects of you. But I find that I don’t have one left. Although I will always be here, at home, waiting to hear how things went, I find that my anxiety about whether or not you’ll be okay is abating. You’re going to be just fine. And the whole world is going to be better because of you. Despite all of my mistakes, you have clearly grown into the man Heavenly Father expects you to be. Now take all your extraordinary gifts...and do something nice for someone else.

Love Always,

Mom