The Rhetoric of Fools

I think it's time for me to abandon my home and start running for public office. I have had enough of the idiots running this country. It's getting to the point where turning on the computer to read the news is a little like watching a train wreck. It sickens me to watch it, but I can't turn away.

So, here's what I've decided: I love my kids and want the best possible world for them. Because of that, I feel that my superior intellect is being wasted with the menial tasks I dedicate myself to. It's time to fulfill my true destiny and save this world from itself.

Would you like to hear my platform?

1.The news stations are corrupted by a liberal bias. The world will never choose to be fair to the conservative audience until equality is legislated. It's not about freedom of speech. It's about freedom of opportunity for all points of view.

2.The education system in this country is awful. It's been proven time after time that textbooks are liberally skewed. I want every textbook to be evaluated by a panel of government appointed experts. Anyone wishing to write a new textbook must seek approval from the panel.

3.I believe in free enterprise but it is being destroyed by lack of competition. I think business licenses should only be given to people who can prove that they are intelligent enough to make their business worth running. Any business currently in existence should have to justify its business model to experts on capitalism.

4.I am tired of the voting system being destroyed by people too ignorant to understand the path they're paving for my children. In order to vote in this country, you should have to pass an IQ test.

If you people won't embrace freedom because it's right, I will take your hand. If you resist, I will push you. If you refuse to be pushed, I will find ways to legislate your ideas out of existence. One way or another, I will ensure liberty for my children.

Whether or not you enjoyed this article, you might be amused by this one. I can't help but relish the creativity these people are capable of. But check it out today! The fun won't be here tomorrow...